This painting may feel a little darker than some I have done, but it’s really not meant to be. It’s more a reflection on the mental illness my daughter faces. She has Borderline Personality Disorder. To sum it up in a few words, it’s an emotional disturbance. Every emotion she feels is 100 times more intense….which can be good for the positive emotions, but very bad for the not so wonderful ones, especially guilt. More borderlines kill themselves because of the guilt they feel than anything else. The problem is, once a borderline is well enough mentally to be self aware, the guilt kicks in and has to be overcome. They feel no one could ever really love them becasue they have done so many things wrong in the past when they were very ill.

The hearts near the cottage represent our love as a family poured out on Ashley, over and over. Even though she is on the darker side of the painting, you see her begin to accept that love and understand she deserves it. She is on the road to recovery, but recently I saw just how hard it is for her. When she says she doesn’t understand why I love her. It hurts to hear, but it is how she feels. How many ways can you tell a child you love them? I don’t know, but I say an infinite amount:)

Even if you haven’t faced or know someone with mental illness, I think everyone can relate to the feeling of guilt and just wanting to be loved. It’s what we all want.