Once upon a time, there was a girl with no money, a terrible job, and a charge card. Grateful to the Fairy Godmother, but feeling she was a little out of step with fashion, and feeling in her heart that the glass slippers were very nice but unsuited to her Dancing Dress from Betsy Johnson, Cinderella changes the course of history by running out to the shoe boutique before the ball and impulsively charging some cool GO GO boots from Manolo Blahnik.

Cinderella proceeds to dance the night away, during which time she catches the eye of a certain Count Dracul in from Transylvania for the weekend. After a torrid love affair Cinderella leaves her evil stepmother and stepsisters and tells them where to put their Cinders, packs her bags, and moves to Transylvania, leaving Prince Charming to a horrific match with one of the evil step sisters. They correspond still, Countess Dracul has renovated one wing of the castle and together he and Cinderella have created one of the hottest dance clubs in Eastern Europe, (conveniently open after hours only ). Countess Cindy, as she is now called by her friends, now has one of the largest collections of go go boots in the world. Our Countess tells Vanity Fair that she has kept her fine complexion by "good genetics" and staying out of the sunlight without exception. The Count and Countess remain the toast of Europe. Back home, on nights with a full moon, Prince Charming can often be seen down by the castle's poolside slumped in a lounge chair, drinking copious amounts of champagne out of BOTH of Cinderella's glass slippers. Ah, well, the dictates of fashion and the fickleness of a woman's heart cannot be helped. The Motto of the story ? Everyone knows and no one should forget that good girls go far, but bad girls go EVERYWHERE.